“Happiness writes white: it doesn't show up on the page.”
― M. Amis
If you’ve read a number of these websites I don’t imagine any of this will be foreign to you. That said, I do appreciate respect and concern for my comfort. If niceties are hewed to I can relax and enjoy myself fully, which is what we both want, right? I’m an incredibly warm person in the right hands- we both want those hands to be yours;) Consider these expectations we may have for each other- with no guesswork about banalities we can fully savor the moment!
I love cleanliness, in both me and everyone else. I shower several times a day because I enjoy it: being sparkling fresh is a side benefit! The city is messy, as is life- if you can’t shower right before we rendezvous I welcome you to do so when we meet. Additionally, never ever has any person said, “brushing my teeth before kissing a beautiful woman was a waste of my time or effort.”
I’m told I read taller than my 5’8. If you’d prefer me to dress casually or in flats feel free to let me know, but otherwise I will be sleekly appropriate for wherever we’re headed, Champs-Élysées to the Cyclone.
I ask a small deposit when home and a 25-50% on the road. If I cancel (rare) I shall send it right back. The deposit rolls forward if you must cancel up to 24 hours ahead, after which I use it to dab away my sorrow.
Placing the stipend in your bathroom (if I visit you) or somewhere visible and excusing yourself to freshen up (if you visit me) is much appreciated. Thank you in advance for all flowers, funny cards or books, or anything that will immediately make us laugh together. Gags aren’t required! I am a fully functional human without them, and sometimes we’re in a hurry- but they are always delightful. You needn’t overthink it either, I appreciate terrible puns, knock knock jokes, and anything with a picture of a dog.
It’s optimal to include screening info in your first email, which is either:
two recent references from reputable providers (I recommend three if time is tight: more likely to have two write back before the desired hour)
your work info, including name, title, company email address (to which I may send a note from an unlisted account and get a reply), LinkedIn, and a photo of you holding your ID, address bits blocked out if you like.
I’m fairly sure nothing I could add to the screening discourse would be new, so I will merely say: it’s fairly easy to ascertain that I’m discreet/have never messed up anyone’s life. I would prefer my body to remain whole, not cut up into separate, discrete pieces. That’s the difference between those two words! Even if you already knew that, I will not consider seeing you without screening.
I provide an infinitude of references within a year, but after I write 4 or 5 I begin including how many I’ve sent. Please do not be on good behavior with me and bad with others. Everyone deserves to be treated with amity and care, including you.
When travelling to you I ask train/airfare and a percentage (between 25-50) up front, with the remainder sorted in cash upon my arrival. I encourage everyone to get a Coinbase or other crypto wallet, whether you plan to rendezvous with me or anyone, because it can take a week plus for an account to be usable. I like Cardano as it doesn’t have the environmental drain of Bitcoin (fingers crossed on Ether!).
My air or train fare is upper/business and if headed overseas I prefer to lie flat. I hope you won’t find this onerous: I never want to disappoint and I find that lack of sleep puts me severely off my game.
When travelling together I take 2-3 hours every day for gym/email/Molly time. I’m squarely on the introvert/extrovert cusp and a little refilling of my tank is good for both of us! Also it gives us time to miss each other;)
“You know how it is when two souls meet in a burst of ecstatic volubility, with hearts tickling to hear and to tell, to know everything, to reveal everything, the shared reverence for the other's otherness, a feeling of solitude radiantly snapped by full *contact* - all that?” ― M. Amis
In truth, the sort of people I seek could probably intuit the above information. Politeness, consideration and savoir faire take care of most things. As an Aikido teacher once told me, “I’m an adult capable of thought, and I assume you are too, so we’re going to be fine.” I invite you to trust that I will like you (I fucking love people), that you won’t despise me too much, and that by taking the step of writing to me you are beginning something wonderful, for both of us. Thank you.